13 Quick Basics for the First-Time Diner

1) The first thing to do after being seated at a table is to immediately place your napkin in your lap. Unfold it into either a large triangle or rectangle. Never use your napkin as a tissue, but have one close by if you think you'll need to wipe your nose during the meal.

2) Don't flip over your coffee cup or other glassware you won't be using. If a beverage is served during the meal that you don't want, simply hold your hand over the cup and say, "No thank you."

3) If you have to leave the table during the meal, say a soft "excuse me" to the people on either side of you, leave your napkin on your chair (not the table) and push the chair under the table as you leave.

4) As you look at your place setting, a great way to remember which plate is yours and which glass is yours: Remember this: "Splids are on the left and liquids are on the right." In other words, your bread plate is on the left side above your forks and your drinking glasses are on the right side above the knife and spoons.

5) Use silverware from the outside in. The first fork you will need will probably be your salad fork, the one farthest on the left. The larger fork directly to its right is your dinner fork. On the far right side of your place setting will most likely be a soup spoon, and on its left, a teaspoon followed by the knife. If you see utensils placed horizontally across the top of your place setting, save those for dessert. Remember - once a utensil has been used for eating, it never again touches the tablecloth, only the china!

6) Your space at a table consists of, not only your place setting, but also the other items directly in front of you. It is your responsibility to take notice of those things and initiate their use. Roll baskets, butter, cream, salad dressings, sugar, salt and pepper - if they're within your reach, pick them up and start them around.

7)Always pass TO THE RIGHT and don't help yourself first. Those items should make a complete pass around the table before you get your turn. If you just can't stand not having first choice of the rolls, turn to the person on your right and say, "Would you mind if I help myself first?" They'll always say yes.

8)Whenever you pass something with a handle, such as dressings, pass it with the handle facing the other person so that they can grasp it easily.

9) Place the butter first on the bread plate before buttering your bread. Break up your bread or rolls into one- or two-bite morsels for buttering and eating. Whatever you take up to your mouth to eat should be eaten in one or two consecutive bites. Your tablemates don't want to see the part that didn't quite fit in your mouth placed back on your bread plate!

10) In a formal place setting, the soup spoon will be quite large. To eat soup properly, draw the spoon away from you and drink the soup from the side of the spoon. Tilt the bowl away from you to get to the last drops. When you're finished, place the spoon on the plate beneath the soup bowl. If there is no plate, rest the spoon in the bowl. Follow these same guidelines for any dessert served in a bowl.

11) Salads should be prepared so that they consist of bite-size pieces. But if the salad contains leaves that are too big to eat, use your salad fork to cut them into smaller pieces. And if that doesn't work, use your dinner knife. But only use the knife when all other methods have failed. Why? Because you'll also need that knife for the main course, and after you've used it for the salad, there's no place to put it so that it doesn't also disappear with the salad plate. At the conclusion of the salad course, only the salad fork should rest on the plate.

12)When eating the main course, eat at the same pace as that of your tablemates. "American Style" of eating goes like this:

Cut your food with the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand (if you are right handed). Cut only one piece at a time. Then lay your knife down on the edge of the plate and transfer the fork to your right hand. Bring the food up to your mouth with the tines on the fork facing upward. Don't stab your food or hold the silverware with your fists. And be careful not to gesture or point with your silverware, whether or not it has food on it.

13)At the conclusion of the meal, imagine your dinner plate as a clock and place your utensils in the 4:20 position. It is rude push your plates away, stack them up or hand them to the server. Place your loosely-folded napkin on the table just as you stand to leave, not before.

The real details that will show you know your stuff:

1) And always pass the salt and pepper as a set, even if only one was requested. 2) Ladies should blot their lipstick so it doesn't soil the linens or leave marks on the glasses.