Negotiating- Tools to Help You

Asking for what you want-and getting it will be easier if you heed the advice of top author and negoiator Roger Volkema:

- Accept this Golden Rule of negotiating: People will not negotiate with you unless they are convinced that you can either help or hurt them. Make sure you know what vour opponent wants-and why.

- Answer three questions before you negotiate:

1. "What do I want?"

2. "Why should they negotiate with me?"

3. "What alternatives do I have?"

And make sure you know how vour opponent would answer those questions as well.

- Understand the difference between a position-'I 'need' X, and an interest-'Why I need X.' Once you do, you'll stop wasting energy defending a position, and concentrate on negotiating an outcome that will satisfy your interests.

 - Ask open-ended questions at the start of negotiations. Examples: "How's business been lately?" "What do you hope this negotiation will give you?" Reasons: You'll learn a lot about what your opposites are thinking. Also, you'll come across as being interested in their needs and being willing to listen, making it more likely they'll do the same.

- Avoid "irritators" such as, "I'm sure you'll find this 'very fair,' 'very generous, or 'very reasonable.' Reason: They can imply that if your opposites don't accept, they're being unfair, selfish or unreasonable.

- Consider delaying the negotiations if you want to learn how urgent or important the issue is to the other side or if you want them to think you have options.

- Volunteer to write up what you agree to by implying that you don't want to see your opposites saddled with such a menial chore. You can better control the language and provisions that go into it. And once it's in writing, it will be harder for the other party to try to change it.

Source: The Negotiation Toolkit: How to Get Exactly What You Want in Any Business or Personal Situation, by Roger J. Volkema, AMACOM, 1601 Broadwav New York, NY 10019